Are You Listening to Your Child?

Altınbaş University and APAM Psychological Research Center Faculty Member Prof. Dr. Dilek Şirvanlı Özen emphasizes that active listening and paying attention to physical cues can make your child feel truly heard and strengthen your communication.

According to Prof. Dr. Dilek Şirvanlı Özen, the most important thing to remember in parent-child relationships is listening. In her definition, she says, "Just hearing what is said is not enough. It is also the strongest bridge of communication needed to reach the other person's heart."

Prof. Dr. Dilek Şirvanlı Özen summarized in six points the leading signs and indicators to understand if you are really listening to your child:

1. Making eye contact: Making eye contact with your child while speaking shows that you are genuinely focused and interested in what they are saying. Eye contact strengthens communication and makes your child feel more comfortable.

2. Asking questions: Ask your child questions to show that you understand what they're saying and that you're listening deeply. This encourages them to explain their thoughts and feelings further and deepens communication.

3. Showing empathy: Show empathy to demonstrate that you understand your child's feelings and appreciate their perspective. Try to understand their feelings and validate them.

4. Active listening: Instead of constantly responding while talking to your child, simply listen to them. Avoid interrupting them while they speak and allow them to finish their thoughts. Then, show that you understood what they said by repeating it in your own words.

5. Physical cues: Pay attention to the physical cues your child gives while talking to you. For example, observe their body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. These cues can help you understand if your child is truly being listened to.

6. Asking open-ended questions: When communicating with your child, ask open-ended questions to encourage them to think more deeply and express their feelings. Open-ended questions allow your child to express their thoughts more broadly rather than giving simple yes or no answers.

Prof. Dr. Dilek Şirvanlı Özen from Altınbaş University also pointed out that listening is not limited to verbal communication alone; she emphasized the importance of parents connecting with their children and understanding their feelings to establish real communication. Özen continued her evaluation as follows:

"Listening begins with delving deeply into their world and understanding their perspective. Thus, you can establish healthy communication with your child and develop a strong relationship. Especially during stressful exam periods such as the High School Transition Exam (LGS) or the Higher Education Institutions Exam (YKS), this becomes even more important. Parents should not impose on their children the professions they want to be but cannot be themselves. The inability to achieve what one wants, the failure to reach dreams, belongs to the parent, not the child."